you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
