he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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