She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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