Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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