saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
