So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
