think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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