dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
