it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
