why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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