Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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