i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
