If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
