If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
