I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
