Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I am naked and annoyed.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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