My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
