I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
