Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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