ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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