I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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