we're chasing vodka with high fives
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
