remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
