Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
