So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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