i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
