try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
