thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
