Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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