found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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