is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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