the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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