You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
