oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
