Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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