why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
