Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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