I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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