my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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