Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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