thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
