Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
