Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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