did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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