someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
