I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think your dad took our porno
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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