btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
