I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
