hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
