I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I didn't shave. On purpose
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
