I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
