I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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