i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
