if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
