Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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