I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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