summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
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