What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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