no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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